ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
