No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
