Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
