fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
