It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
