Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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