he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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