So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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