So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
