they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
