My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
