He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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