they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
