please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
