I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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