just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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