Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize