I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
