Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
