You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Duck Duck Cougar?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
