a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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