Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
