Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
