i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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