Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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