so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
