I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
