I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
