Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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