Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
