Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
