maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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