Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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