I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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