Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
