i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
