Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
