i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
