Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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