just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize