Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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