Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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