Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
