ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
