You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
