After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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