so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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