Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry about my life...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
