Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
