Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
