meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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