I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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